Saturday 28 June 2008

Octo


Of the Octopi Jardinus species.
If you go out at midnight and have a look between the salads in your veg patch, you might see one of those...weird examples. People don't see them often, actually, we still haven't heard of anybody who has come across it. Besides, they don't leave a trail like snails do, so you wouldn't be able to track them anyway. But they do leave bite marks on every vegetable they find on their rounds. There's one positive thing about the way they leave things behind... they only bite once, each vegetable. For some reason they don't bite any vegetable more than once. So far it could be because he's very superstitious, or being the great connaisseur he is, he thinks the second bite is never good as the first... So your veg patch remains mostly untouched.If you get to see one, don't scream or make any noise at all, because his auditive faculty is so sensitive that like tuning forks it picks up any sound and vibration and augments it 100 times or so, so his whole body feels it. This means anything exceptionally loud shakes him so much that he breaks the earth's crust and causes earthquakes! Better Octo bites tiny bits of your salad than makes a hole in the earth swallow your whole garden up. But so far he's lovely and very friendly with any living being. We just have to make sure we behave, with inner peace and act like we've taken a vow of silence each time we visit our gardens.

Slock the Noble

When you take your laundry out of the washing machine and find money inside it's not that you forgot to check your pockets before you put it to wash, it's there because Slock pays back all the stuff and rubbish he takes from you while your clothes are spinning around in the washing machine. He picks all the bits and pieces he likes and falls in love with (shiny stuff if possible) and uses them, hanging them on his cloak as talismans. But how in the world can he meticulously pick or even select rigorously all those interesting bits while the drum is spinning so fast?! The answer is; he works in the middle. Actually, he can ONLY work in the middle and ONLY when the drum is spinning at its fastest where centrifugal force pushes all the clothes away from the center of the drum, creating a hollow. That's where Slock works at his best...He hovers in the middle as the clothes spin around him, and using his high tech magnetic antenae he attracts a collection together in front of him so that he can carefully selects all the interesting bits and pieces. When the washing machine stops he drains away with the water but not before he leaves behind some money for payment which explains the loose change or even a note you may find after washing your clothes.